Is Blunt Coach a Crossfit Hater?

BluntCoachFitness, HealthLeave a Comment

Y do u h8 CrossFit so much, iz it cuz yor a h8ta? #Crossfithater

That’s a real question by the way, and typed exactly as it was spelt, and here’s my answer;

I hate CrossFit;

ProblE cuz itz full of wankers hu wrte lIk gangsters & can’t tAk d tym 2 spL things properly, innit bro!

For someone who can’t take the time to spell ‘why’, ‘you’, ‘is’, ‘because’, ‘your’, and ‘Hater’ I won’t take more than a moment to answer this.

Firstly, I think CrossFit is the best news the sports rehab and physio people have had in decades. Hip/knee and shoulder replacement surgeons must all be nursing a semi.

Unemployment figures are better than ever, as previously unemployable downs syndrome people fast-track themselves into Level 2 CrossFit Certificate Courses.

Previously unrentable commercial buildings and aircraft hangers, are now in occupancy, and a brand-new market for second-hand tractor tyres is underway.

Manufacturers of five-fingered mong shoes are delighted, as are suppliers of pre, during, and post workout drink supplements, lifting chalk, and gay gloves.

The worlds a happier place for the guys and girls now being ‘congratulated’, daily, for the simple act of masturbation, i.e. completing a ‘Wank of the Day’ (WOD).

Office workers the world over are rejoicing at the introduction of a new water cooler topic to debate over, and the populous delights as the new kid on the block’s phrase; ‘Well, as a CrossFitter’, and gives the twats using; ‘Well, as a Christian’ and ‘Well, as a Vegetarian’, a welcome break for us all.

Mixed Martial Arts practitioners, Olympic Lifters, Decathletes, and Gymnasts are running scared, as CrossFit trumps them all, and leaves them in the dirt for supreme fitness! (NOT).

Performance enhancing drug sales are at a record high, and the butch, CrossFit bean flickers, are on the rise (see below).

And that’s why Blunt Coach ‘Loves CrossFit’!

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